| Thoughts: Mine and Yours This page allows my clients and other visitors to the site to weigh in on any issues that have appeal. I hope you enjoy these musings and if you have thoughts to share, please email them to me at gari@coachingpartnerships.com |
TOLERATIONS: What are you
putting up with that subtley (or not
so subltley!) drains your energy? It
could be as large as a difficult
co-worker or as insignificant as a
broken silver-ware caddy in your
dishwasher that lets all the
silverware drop through every
single time you fill it. These things
are of different magnitude but they
function the same way: they block
your energy flow and make you
work to accomodate them. Each
toleration needs to be addressed
and zapped! Daunting? Maybe.
Impossible? Absolutely not!
What are you tolerating?
putting up with that subtley (or not
so subltley!) drains your energy? It
could be as large as a difficult
co-worker or as insignificant as a
broken silver-ware caddy in your
dishwasher that lets all the
silverware drop through every
single time you fill it. These things
are of different magnitude but they
function the same way: they block
your energy flow and make you
work to accomodate them. Each
toleration needs to be addressed
and zapped! Daunting? Maybe.
Impossible? Absolutely not!
What are you tolerating?
OUR STORIES: Oh boy, do we get stuck
in our stories! As you tell them over and
over again are you beginning to get sick of
them yourself? Can you feel the nudge to
give it up - to stop defining yourself
through that story?
in our stories! As you tell them over and
over again are you beginning to get sick of
them yourself? Can you feel the nudge to
give it up - to stop defining yourself
through that story?
TIME: I often work with folks who go through
life breathlessly. For some it feels good. For
others, it feels stressful: they feel as though
they are always trying to catch up with
themselves
I actually believe that because I am respectful
of time, I access time -- maybe even from
another dimension! I do not rush, I am on time
and if we meet, I will not tell you all the things I
have done that day.
There are things I encourage my clients to do:
Find your biological clock-- are you a morning
person (you guessed it -- I am) or do you come
alive at night. Then we see how you can live
and function in integrity while meeting
obligations or desires.
I want you to learn how to say "NO" and why
you often say "YES" and regret it. I have found
that some people say yes to requests because
it appeals to their egos--they are flattered. I
want you to accept the compliment and then
determine if the request will nourish you.
I begin each morning a bit earlier than I need
to so that I have time to sit quietly. I believe
this gives me the extra padding that I need
throughout the day. This does not have to be
a religious practice. It could be as simple as
sitting with a cup of coffee in the quiet. I
believe 5 minutes of quiet "warm-up" can
affect your whole day.
life breathlessly. For some it feels good. For
others, it feels stressful: they feel as though
they are always trying to catch up with
themselves
I actually believe that because I am respectful
of time, I access time -- maybe even from
another dimension! I do not rush, I am on time
and if we meet, I will not tell you all the things I
have done that day.
There are things I encourage my clients to do:
Find your biological clock-- are you a morning
person (you guessed it -- I am) or do you come
alive at night. Then we see how you can live
and function in integrity while meeting
obligations or desires.
I want you to learn how to say "NO" and why
you often say "YES" and regret it. I have found
that some people say yes to requests because
it appeals to their egos--they are flattered. I
want you to accept the compliment and then
determine if the request will nourish you.
I begin each morning a bit earlier than I need
to so that I have time to sit quietly. I believe
this gives me the extra padding that I need
throughout the day. This does not have to be
a religious practice. It could be as simple as
sitting with a cup of coffee in the quiet. I
believe 5 minutes of quiet "warm-up" can
affect your whole day.
CLUTTER: Here is one reason why I think
people hold on to the messes in their lives:
There is a challenge in discerning inherent
value in objects. Everything is perceived to
have the same value and it is determined
externally -- not by our friends who live in
the clutter. Because it came through their
door, they feel they must keep it.
I coach my clients to actively decide if they
want an object that comes their way. The
process of deciding is empowering and often
creates a chain reaction. This decision
process applies to mail as well. One client
used to hold on to all sale flyers that came in
the mail whether she shopped at the store
regularly or not -- "just in case." We weaned
her down to the 2 stores she actually visits
and she recycles the rest immediately. Now
she is tackling the big stuff and loving it:
one pile for charity, one for the dump and
one for keeping.
people hold on to the messes in their lives:
There is a challenge in discerning inherent
value in objects. Everything is perceived to
have the same value and it is determined
externally -- not by our friends who live in
the clutter. Because it came through their
door, they feel they must keep it.
I coach my clients to actively decide if they
want an object that comes their way. The
process of deciding is empowering and often
creates a chain reaction. This decision
process applies to mail as well. One client
used to hold on to all sale flyers that came in
the mail whether she shopped at the store
regularly or not -- "just in case." We weaned
her down to the 2 stores she actually visits
and she recycles the rest immediately. Now
she is tackling the big stuff and loving it:
one pile for charity, one for the dump and
one for keeping.
COACHING: I don't know exactly why life is difficult, I just know that it is. Actually, the
"why" is a great conversation with good friends over a bottle of wine. I do know that life
can be made easier if we partner with folks. Think of the comfort and benefits of 12-step
programs; Weight Watchers; friends, family and life-partners. Things are simply easier when
we are not alone.
My coaching is a partnership with you, the client. We work together to pursue your
dreams. I hold your vision for you while you are out there doing the fun stuff to make them
a reality. There is also a level of accountability -- you don't have to do the homework we
discuss, but since you usually come up with it yourself you are pretty motivated to do it. It is
all about forward movement.
"why" is a great conversation with good friends over a bottle of wine. I do know that life
can be made easier if we partner with folks. Think of the comfort and benefits of 12-step
programs; Weight Watchers; friends, family and life-partners. Things are simply easier when
we are not alone.
My coaching is a partnership with you, the client. We work together to pursue your
dreams. I hold your vision for you while you are out there doing the fun stuff to make them
a reality. There is also a level of accountability -- you don't have to do the homework we
discuss, but since you usually come up with it yourself you are pretty motivated to do it. It is
all about forward movement.
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DEATH-LARGER THAN LIFE: I recently
went to my friend's brother's funeral. A
young man with 3 kids, felled by
melanoma, the stories about Andrew were
endless. At the funeral and in the house
of mourning, rabbis, siblings and friends
all remembered Andrew as larger than life
and humor was the common thread of all
their memories.
I too, have endured the pain of death,
having lost my mother, father and
mother-in-law within three short years. I
often describe my parents as larger than
life, or in my mother's case, a force of
nature!
It recently occurred to me that each of
these folks, Andrew included, must have
lived life to the fullest and were not shy
or reticent about experiencing themselves
in it. They did not wait to feel life, they
did not deny themselves their unique
gifts. In doing so, they allowed each of us
to experience them fully and really know
them.
In some bizarre way, this makes it easier
to carry them with us once they have left.
Could we see this as a "charge" to us to
be the most that we can be? Is a legacy
determined by how authentic one lives a
life? And in doing so, are we making a
mark as we live and making it easier for
our loved ones when we die?
There are so many lessons to be learned
as a daughter, friend and coach.
To learn more about Andy and the
foundation he created to fight melanoma,
click here.
went to my friend's brother's funeral. A
young man with 3 kids, felled by
melanoma, the stories about Andrew were
endless. At the funeral and in the house
of mourning, rabbis, siblings and friends
all remembered Andrew as larger than life
and humor was the common thread of all
their memories.
I too, have endured the pain of death,
having lost my mother, father and
mother-in-law within three short years. I
often describe my parents as larger than
life, or in my mother's case, a force of
nature!
It recently occurred to me that each of
these folks, Andrew included, must have
lived life to the fullest and were not shy
or reticent about experiencing themselves
in it. They did not wait to feel life, they
did not deny themselves their unique
gifts. In doing so, they allowed each of us
to experience them fully and really know
them.
In some bizarre way, this makes it easier
to carry them with us once they have left.
Could we see this as a "charge" to us to
be the most that we can be? Is a legacy
determined by how authentic one lives a
life? And in doing so, are we making a
mark as we live and making it easier for
our loved ones when we die?
There are so many lessons to be learned
as a daughter, friend and coach.
To learn more about Andy and the
foundation he created to fight melanoma,
click here.